I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
