forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
