I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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