belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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