I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Randomize
