you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
God, I missed his penis.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
