no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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