PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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