The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
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