Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
