i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize