Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I intend to get homeless drunk
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize