I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
