Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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