I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
