Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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