i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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