good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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