What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
If that was your dad, he is hot
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
