i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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