I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I touched a dick in church today
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
