She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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