Fine. I'll sleep in my office
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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