i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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