Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Randomize
