He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
