At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
