hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
