It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
It was a blind-side dick pic.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
