Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize