she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
