i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
