would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
