I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
50% drunk capacity currently
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
