About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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