she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
