just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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