it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
