I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
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