Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
