My pussy is not your playground.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Randomize
