If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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