Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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