my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
