I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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