I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
