Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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