That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
