that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
