so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
