This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
