sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
