Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
What drink are we having for lunch?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
