i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
