I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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