I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
