Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA

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(650): View more from California

from now on my penis is your penis

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(330): View more from Ohio

I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.

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(808): View more from Hawaii

Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.

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(314): View more from Missouri

Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'

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(786): View more from Florida

I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night

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(214): View more from Texas

I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.

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