I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize