I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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