Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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