i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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