STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize