I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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