they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
