You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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