Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
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