dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
