you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
