I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
