he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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