We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
