yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
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