And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
