What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
