In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
